I'm down HERE!

Community Service Announcement

yeah, so (again) about how deathly long time "30 minutes" seems to be/take on a treadmill...

it is much, much, MUCH worse when you leave your ipod in the car.

Just thought you should know.

Being Green...and braggy

OK, I'm a day or two  late for St.Patrick's, but here it is.  I know, I know...Baby will KILL me when he is older and sees what I did to him!  And if he doesnt, at least his girlfriend (or boyfriend) will get a kick out the photos!

I am making Baby's food.  We have passed the beginner grains, and are on fruits & vegatables.  For each new item introduced, I feed him store-bought organic baby food (in a jar) for the first two days.  If he eats that (and this kid eats EVERYTHING!) and has no allergic reaction, then I make the rest myself.  Its really easy.  Most everything is nuked to complete softness then pureed in the food processor.  People told me I would never have the time or energy to do this, but it really is easy and only takes a few minutes. I can make sure he isnt getting any additives and everything is organic.  Surprisingly, it is sometimes more expensive to make the fresh food than buy the prepared stuff in a jar!  And he eats much, much more than the books say any baby eats.  They are talking in tablespoons, and this little one eats over a cup at dinner (and up to 20oz of milk!).  They say not to serve out of the jar because babies dont finish all the contents?  HA!  Baby eats the entire jar (even of the rare item he doesnt really like...he's just messy eating those).  After that, I fill the same jar with a cereal (grain) mixture...and he eats all of that.  Sometimes we close with applesauce & rice cereal for dessert before he gets his final 10 oz of milk before bed.  Its insane.  But, this wasnt really my point.

Tonight was the third (and last, for now) night of squash.  He loved the jars of winter squash, but I couldnt find fresh winter squash at the market (dont even know what it looks like).  So, tonight was butternut squash...fresh from Wild Oats.

My point is: here is how green I am for St.Patrick's Day (just to toot my own horn):

**I peeled the squash.  The peels go to our composting, that I am starting in the back yard.

**I diced the squash, removed the seeds, nuked it, and bottled it.  That goes in the baby.

**I dried the seeds and will be planting them in the garden tomorrow.

I feel like Nanook of the North, using every part of my (primary) food!  OK, it isnt a clubbed seal or anything, but I was earth-friendly.  I'm GREEN, damned it!  Beyond washing the implements, I created no waste.  Sorry, I really am geek enough to get a thrill out of such a concept.  Reusker always talks about living off the grid...I talk about generating less waste.  I'm a nazi recycler, I reuse every rediculous thing I can, and I try to throw very little out (waste).  It drives Reusker nuts, but I believe in it....so there!

And just to be a little bit greener...its my mom's maiden name.  HA!

Running out of time

So I'm trying not to look at the clock.  I'll just sing the song (something Sheryl Crowe on my lilShuffle) and THEN look at the clock.  I AM NOT THINKING ABOUT THE CLOCK.  Go away...stop taunting me.  OK...I look.

10 seconds have passed.  10 frickin seconds.  Are you shitting me?

I go through 30 minutes and 2.7 miles of this.  Yup...I'm on the treadmill, at the gym.

Before the run, I met with the physical therapist because I have a pinched nerve in my shoulder...I've had it for 13 years now (did you play sand volleyball with us, JB?).  This idiot keeps using terms like "when we age" and "older people" while he is giving me advice.  Apparently "after a certain age" I am not supposed to exert myself anymore...I might break.  Muscle head.

So I'm done with all that...and there's a pilates class starting.  Sure, I'm tired and sweating...but this is just stretching, right?  HA.  I loved the class, but I was shaking through the whole thing.  That, and there are these manicured southern belles that are watching me...competitively.  Ladies, you know the "making sure I'm better than her" look.  I often seen an almost desperation in their "this is the only way to prove I'm good enough, get our of my way" eyes. I'm sure guys have their own equivalent, especially in a gym.  I just roll my eyes, sigh, and feign a collapse...laughing to myself (because they are WAY past "that certain age" themselves).  I'm also sure my treadmill sweat is disturbing, because this is supposed to be a serene experience...perspiration is frowned upon in these circles.  Screw that...I was working out, not getting coiffured before/for this!

So when the nursery woman came to get me out of class -to tell me Baby was getting whiny- I didnt mind.  I enjoyed the instructor, enjoyed the class...but I was ready to leave.  Didnt even pick up my mat (surely a mistake worse than murder)...I just ran out with my sneaks in hand.  SEE-YA!

Did I mention I just dont enjoy so many of the people down here?  Yeah.  That was a prime example. They are SO competitive, but about things I dont believe in (artificial beauty, appearances, extremism, money).  Dont get me wrong: I -with great surprise- realized I LOVE living here...so much of it is great.  We have a gorgeous town, the affluent environment bring extremely rich services, people are superficially nice, and I have every.single.thing I need or want (except dear old friends).  I just dont like the people.  No small thing.  And there isnt enough outdoors to do (no ocean, no skiing, no mountains).  But I can definitely survive my 5-year commitment here (unless they move Reusker to Miami, but we arent thinking about that).  And perhaps I'll make some pathetic over-doer feel better about herself in some really lame way.  Good for her. I still know I could kick her ass anywhere in that gym.

And who did I call competitive?

Reusker found someone's Blackberry as he was leaving work today.  He brought it home and found out it was one of his employee's. 

We wrote a ransom note:  If you ever want to see your Blackberry alive again, reply to this email with an embarrassing photo within 1 hour.
Do not contact the authorities, do not bring anyone with you...or we'll hack the little guy (see attached photo).
His fate is in your hands...the clock is ticking...and we mean BUSINESS!

And we attached this photo.

So the guy has been calling his Blackberry like CRAZY.  Reusker had me answer it and I just said "check your work email from home" and hung up.  They keep calling.  I answer it again, and this time its his WIFE!  She keeps asking me who it is, I keep asking who SHE is. 

I can tell they are freaking out...and now I feel terrible.  I was the mastermind, but Reusker is on the floor in hysterics...he'll keep them hanging all night!  He knows Jason has a great sense of humor, but I feel so guilty.

We'll see what happens...I never knew having little baby's toys would come in handy like this!

Whose your Mommy?

OK, I'm a little bit cloudy...and damned proud of it.  Who just drank an entire bottle of (Mondovan) wine all by herself?  YUP...me!  Friends just left...do you see what time it is?  I was calm and cool...almost entertaining even...without being obnoxious.  And did anyone just *happen* to see how much the lil mom put away?  That's right..she CAN kick it with the fun folks...HA!

OK...I'm off to pass out now. bye.

Not that anyone is living and dying by (or even reading) my blog...but sorry I havent written.  It just hasnt been a priority for me, and I didnt feel like giving more time to what I would have concentrated upon. 

Really, the days have been delightful.  BUT, the piccadillies that usually drive me to write are often negative, and I didnt want to "be there".  Really, with my evil step-mother-in-law here last weekend, there was PLENTY to bitch about it.  And, I actually made a stink right in her face:

I was so thoroughly offended that she would come to our home and treat Reusker with such amazing disrespect.  At one point I asked her -as I was entirely flabergasted (which is rare)- "did you REALLY say what I think you just said to him?".  She had been repeating my words in a mocking, childlike tone, then said that if Reusker didnt reveal some big corporate secret she was trying to get out of him (why?) then they "clearly would need to sign a non-compete before showing face in THIS household again".  It goes deeper, and that probably sounds silly...but she was picking fights (in the most juvenile way) ALL weekend.  So I finally challenged her...called her on it a little.  At the least, I gave her a chance to take it back!  She defiantly repeated the rude words, staring me down with a "you wanna fight?" or "bring it on!" look.  For nearly the FIRST TIME in my life I actually used my brain before my big mouth.  What a novel idea!  I nodded disapprovingly, acknowledged that she really DID intend to be that rude...and walked out of the room.  I think it still made a statement, but not nearly as dramatic as my words would have (read: ripped her a new one).

I was just raised to respect my elders...ANYONE, really.  I didnt -at that moment- have it in me to match her insolence and lack of manners with my own sharp tongue.  I actually had the foresight to see that no good would come of it.  But make no mistake...since that moment a full FOUR days ago, I have had so many witty, nasty, even cruel retorts.  I'm not entirely glad I backed down...you know, its kinda painful for someone like me.  And now I'm plagued with obsessing over what I could have said. 

Sometimes the high road isnt quite as satisfying as my mom always told me it would be (note to self: dont feed that BS to Baby).  But, I'm gonna trust karma on this one.  If I truly did want her to be hurt (and I dont)...I do know that basically she really already is.  She is toxic, and that is no way to go through life.  I just need to own my own petty desire to lash back out (vindictive?), and deal with that.

So, I dont know if its aging or mommyhood...something is mellowing me.  I know at least one friend  who wouldnt call that a good thing.  We loved to match ascerbic ways (did I spell that right?).  But I sometimes dont know when to stop.  And like I said about Witch, its no way for me to go through life.  I think I am getting over some of my own toxicity...and there was (and likely always will be) plenty to neutralize.

See...I went to the negative crap anyways!  Hopefully there is a positive note to it (albeit typically self-indulgent).  But it would be even MORE boring if I blabbed on about how much I love being a mommy and wife.  Its just all-consuming for me, and the contentment looks dull from the outside.  I can live with that...and still manage to bitch from time to time!