I'm down HERE!

He did it to me again.

l...just sitting in his high chair, spreading an apple all over his face (not an easy feat!)...giving me that goofy, toothy grin.

Baby made me cry.  I was trying to sing to him and I got so chocked up I had to stop. 

I looked over at Reusker and just sobbed "I love you guys so much"...

So pathetic, it was kinda cute.

Yes, this IS the same post I put on his blog...I'm that taken...

I'm down HERE!: Are you kidding me?

Remember how/when Reusker's grandmother was obsessed, believing I'd taken her *favorite* pair of shoes?

I just got a letter saying she's sent me ANOTHER subsription to "Southern Living" magazine!  And in TINY letters, way down in the corner of the page it says (in light pencil, so barely-there that Reusker completely missed it):

"I found my shoes"

Fran! Fran! Fran!

Just let me say that I am beyond excited that Fran found me!  YEAH!

That hybrid thang

DogsDontPurr asked me to review our Hybrid Toyota Highlander, so here goes.  Reusker should really weigh in, because he's the car freak.

For starters, I fell in love with the Lexus Hybrid.  Reusker *told* me this was the same automobile, just a Toyota.  This appealed to my frugal side, which was DEAD-against buying a brand, new car.  But, they are holding their value so well that after all the incentives (tax cut, rebates, APR) it was actually cheaper to buy a NEW car than a used one!!  Can you believe that?  crazy.

It turns out its the chassis or some "underneath" feature that is the same as the Lexus...not the cupholders and such details that *I* would appreciate.  Of course.  I also think it has some kind of construction similar to the Toyota Camry, but I know no more than I care on this subject.  Reusker assured me it was very, very safe...that's all I care about (since we DO have a habit of being nearly killed by errant 18-wheelers, right?).

The coolest thing is to turn it ON.  You cant even tell its on...no noise!  It starts in battery mode, no engine noise.  I am halfway down the street before the gas engine kicks in.  There is a gauge on the dashboard that tells me, but you can also hear it...electric is quieter and smoother...kinda like a golf cart.

Now appreciate that I am comparing this to my previous cars:  1995 Infiniti (which did the job, but was very old and tired) and The Mitsubeastie (hated this one after 10 miserable years...JB might remember this POS).  So I LOVE our little SUV!! I swore I'd never get a SUV or minivan.  But lifting baby + carseat, hunched into the back of a small car...no good, sent me straight to my first chiropractor visit (whom I now adore).  This is small enough to feel good, definitely no minivan, but high enough to be REALLY comfortable...good view, easy to lift up to.

We get better mileage in the city (uses battery more, appr.26mpg) than highway (~23mpg).  It steers and breaks well.  Eric said something about torque and seconds to some speed...the bottom line is that it accelerates well...a new thing for me (ha ha ha).

My only complaint is that the seats round my back more than I like.  But I tend to hunch over anyways...it just encourages it.  So for our LONG LONG LONG drive to Maine (just me & baby!), I plan to put a towel behind me.

Some things I love:  hidden third row of seats, lighter plugs everywhere, back seats fold DOWN/not forward, huge cupholders and perfect spaces for everything.  I love that we have both a sun and moon roof.  The AC also kicks ass, and the radio is really good (controls on steering wheel, too).

What am I leaving out, DDP?

For the love of fresh air...

How bad is the emissions test in the State of Tennessee if OUR -well, Reusker's- car (1995 Infiniti, 17mpg) passes the emissions test?  Scary thought.

Really, this car SHOULD fail the test. Our new hybrid gets better mileage by almost 10 mpg!!  OK, its a hybrid and a SMALL SUV with special SULEV ("super ultra low emissions vehicle") designation.  But still...

Reusker's car *should* be outlawed...its no good. 

Luckily he only drives it the mere 0.6 miles to work...I (usually) cant convince him to WALK TO WORK.

Just pissy

I want to cancel my trip to Maine.

I have to drive 1300 miles alone with a baby. 

My inlaws may or may not be able to make the baby party they were supposed to help me host.

We paid a LOT of money for an apartment I will be sitting in, alone with baby.

My best friend is too busy to see me...after she begged me to come back.

My other best friend wont see me without the first one around...she's weird like that.

I am too tired to care for baby all alone, every day for three more weeks.

Who will water my plants in the scorching TN heat while I am away?  These plants that I have worked so hard to keep alive.

I cant decide whether or not to even tell my dad I'll be there.  He has made no effort towards me or his grandson.  I'm both resentful yet scared NOT to say anything and get caught.

My brother is too busy to make time for us.

My mom will make time for us, as long as we dont DEPEND on her.

Reusker will be running around between Nashville, Miami and Maine...and even though he's been driving me crazy, I will miss him (and his help!).

All that packing and moving and living out of suitcases for weeks.

My family.  My inlaws.  Obligation.  My missing friends. 

That drive home.

I want to cancel this so-called "vacation"...and get our money back!

Idiot Inlaws

another in the long line of "are you KIDDING me"'s...

We are going to great lengths to go to Reusker's father's second wife's 60th birthday bash.  You might have heard me rant about this before...his dad is psycho about this party.  So what if she didnt do anything for his birthday...the world revolves around this bitch.  But, OK, we're trying to be good family.  Me, I am driving alone with a baby for 1300 miles, and moved my last furniture-making class (since there are only 3 of us in it)...all to be there for her party.  Reusker is taking time from work and flying home from a meeting in Florida to go.  And she has been a bitch to him since he was 13!  Fine.

I asked Reusker's dad if we could also have Baby's first birthday party there.  We are staying in Maine so that Baby can be near his grandparents for his first birthday.  I know my dad would never show up to a party at my mom's house...and my inlaws farm is a fun place to party.  Dad (Reusker's dad) said it would be fun...we'll have a BBQ, pool party and horseback riding.

Every now and then when he is going on and on (in our IMs) about his wife's party...I just make sure he hasnt entirely forgotten about his grandson's party.  Obviously, it means a lot to me.

Last night he says:  oh, we cant do it that day, we have two weddings to go to.  He then goes on to explain how one is for an employee, and another for a neighbor...as if that somehow justifies it.

Here they are again...basically telling us that X, Y, Z is more important than Baby's first birthday!  He said we could just move it to the next day.  NO!  We have scheduled ALL our vacation plans around making her party, and Baby's party.  We can't do it the next day.

We go to all this effort for them.  They perpetually move our big dates without care.  I am so frickin tired of not being able to trust them...but more, I'm tired of the message it sends to Reusker and my son...about where they fall of these people's priorities.  If we are lucky, my son is wedged between wedding A and wedding B on a Saturday afternoon.  I am about ready to say SCREW IT! and have the party back here with the Tennessean crowd.  I just hate to screw my mom, who is the only good parent between the SIX we have!

Flashback to our wedding:  We planned our wedding in 4 months.  We couldnt get married on the date we chose, because it was the stepmother's birthday...she wouldnt like that.  Then every date we chose they BEGGED us to change it...someone's birthday, a business trip, you name it.  And end-of-summer in Maine is not exactly full of good wedding venues at the last minute.  Their changes (and our stupid willingness to accomodate them, when our wedding clearly wasnt a priority) made it impossible to get a venue.  We ended up outside by the ocean (later to find we were sharing it with a bulldozer and its dirtpiles) and expensively at the Country Club.  What the hell?  (they werent paying for it, we were!)

Are you kidding me?

Remember that nice family visit we had last weekend?  Where we drove over 20 hours on sniper-riddled highways, and then were THRILLED that everyone was on their best behavior (baby and family)?  Well, it WAS too good to be true:

Reusker's grandmother has called each of the last 3 mornings.  She wants to know where her shoes are.  She said they were in her room before we arrived, and now they are missing.  And, of all the myriad pairs of shoes she owns, suddenly these are the ONLY ones she can walk in.

I tried to explain that I dont have her shoes.  She said that they have now mysteriously disappeared, she has looked everywhere, nobody else has been in her house...and she is desperate.  She was sure my husband wouldnt take them (hint, hint)...

Does she actually believe that a) I would want her shoes, b) that I would TAKE her shoes, and c) that hassling me would PRODUCE the shoes?

LEAVE ME ALONE!  this is truly insane.

it would NOT have been difficult

I decided not to support the pathetic movement sweeping Hollywood (to blacklist Mel Gibson). Obviously MG was wrong and a jackass...duh.  But the wave of "kick him when he's down" and not blinking at two public apologies and a visit to rehab?  c'mon people.

So Rob Schneider pays something like $14K to announce that he will not collaborate with MG.  OK, first:  ha ha ha!  Funny!  Second: get over yourself.  I'm all for taking a stance, as well as fighting anti-semitism...but no good really comes from this kind of grandstanding.

So I decided *I* would retaliate by boycotting all RS's films.  Really no hardship there. 

And then I decided that was basically being as petty (a word I am not entirely unfamiliar with) as RS.  And I dont need that on my resume.  Besides, boycotting RS is just another kicking a man when he is down (as his career clearly is). 

So, Rob, I am back.  I will see and support as many of your endeavors as I ever did (ha!).  I will rise above your sad drama.  Try to take notes.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/eo/20060804/en_celeb_eo/19676

just a quick bitch...

from a slow bitch!

So Reusker's family doesnt recognize my birthday.  that's fine, I really dont need more crap around here.  wait, his mom does usually send something, I was wrong. but a card from his dad/stepmom or sister's family would be nice...to be remembered, right?  but here it is, all of THEIR birthdays, and the giftgiving falls to me.  my family (well, not my MIA dad) gives Reusker gifts for his birthday...but Reusker doesnt do anything for any of them.  Well, to be fair, he pays for all the things I hunt down.  but he gives them no thought about birthdays.

Now I have to get his sister a present, and get something BIG for his step mother's 60th birthday.  I'm pretty neither of them even know when my birthday is...after several years.  I am driving Baby out 1500 miles to her gawdy birthday bash.  I will get not so much as a Thank You for any of this...I never do.  In the past, I've wondered if they ever even received our gifts!  but I wont be so rude as to hunt down a thankyou.  (because you know I've been on the receiving end of that shit from his family)

But if I dont do it, there will be fall out.  and I dont want that fallout.  so I will take the baby out in this sweltering heat and hopelessly hunt down something that the have-everythings *might* like.  and I'll be working on getting over this martyr complex along the way...