I'm down HERE!

Letter to the Editor

Seems to be going around my family lately...writing to the local paper.  Mine was the least contentious of those from my family (a family where each and every one of our pushy personalities contends to be least contentious!).  But the editor asked for feedback, and I love our new paper...

<p> Mr. Gibson - I admit to be a weak reader of the Opinions section of our paper, but I did read your last article with interest.  You asked for for feedback, and here it is.  </p>

As a new mom and less-then-avid reader, it takes me a full week to read the Sunday paper...and I dont give it the time I wish I could.  But I will tell you that you have a GREAT paper in The Tennessean!  We recently moved from Maine, and have found your paper to be a very nice upgrade in our weekly reading. 

My main criticism of the coverage is more cultural than editorial.  As Yankees, we see things very differently than native southerners.  As over-educated New Englanders, we are often frustrated by many things that somehall fall under "southern charm".  Our cultures, our people have some subtle, but very strong differences...and I believe both sides have much to learn from each other.  My family is enjoying the process...partly with the help of your paper.  Based on the little I know of local culture, your paper seems to reflect its constituency...and I believe that is partly a good thing.  I think it also propagates a certain "closed" way of thinking that pervades this area.

Down here politics are very, very different from any other part of the country I have every lived in (ME, AZ, MD, PA, MA).  The people and culture are different.  Things get done in a different fashion.  To our neighbors, we -the Yankees- are the ones who do things differently.  And for our neighborhood, this is true...we are fish out of water.  While I do not mind this (we all learn together), I wish my neighbors could know the outside world better.  Comparisons to only their like-minded neighbors -while strengthening comfort and community- fails to expose them to the outside world.  I worry that our paper sometimes does the same thing.

I could exemplify this concern with an example from an article on the front page of last Sunday's paper.  In the ethics article ("Ethics experts call state's bill a step forward" 12 Feb2006, p.1) comparisons are made mostly to southern states: Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky and North Carolina.  All of these states are in the deep southeast of our country, with Wisconsin being the one exception.  I believe it is not coincidence that Wisconsin appears to be at the other extreme in terms of regulations.  I do not know the facts about other states (even after reading the article), but I suspect states in other parts of the country might reveal a certain clustering effect.  The chart "ethics across the states" is misleading in implying this is a fair cross-sectional view of the country.  On the contrary, its looking next door to Alabama, a state of similar culture and approach.

I believe the southern heritage is a great gift to be celebrated.  I have been delighted with your paper, and the education it provides.  Your staff has held local lawmakers and wrongdoers to task. I sense a great perseverance in the research of the articles, likely to the pain of those in the spotlight (which I believe is a right part of accountability).  Your publication has challenged many of my cocky New England biases...seeing better coverage than we have in our old paper.  But I would challenge your staff to expose your readers to the greater worldliness of our country as well.  But in the meantime, you are providing us  with great local perspective.  Most of all I want to commend everyone at The Tennessean for producing GREAT product...well done.

Thank you and keep up the good work!

Meg R

Sometown, TN

School is still cancelled (snow days)

It is going to be SIXTY DEGREES today.  And there is no snow on the ground.  Yet my town has come to a screeching halt!

Happy Valentine's Day.

I did see a few flakes...in the AIR...

I didnt find out until I got to yoga class at 10am, and the nursery was FULL:

they cancelled ALL town schools today.  All of them.

And there wasnt a single FLAKE of snow on the ground.  And there is salt everywhere.  Are they crazy?  NO part of town has snow...salt or not.  These people are insane!

Then again, I think I leaned over three times to pick up a KNOT in the wood of my floor.  I would blame it on a dirty floor distracting me, but there's no excuse for the second and third attempts!

And I'm gonna keep my "guns are not safe" mouth shut about the VP shooting someone in the face.  OK, I wont.  It reminds me of Reusker's aunt, who lost her eye in a hunting accident where her (very accomplished) hunting partner shot her in the head...in Africa.  Crazy.

only MY family

wasnt I just writing about how perfect my life is?  of course, the other shoe had to drop.

Reusker was hit by a car this evening, as he was walking home (all of 0.5 miles) from work this evening.  He will be fine, but I am ONE PISSED OFF WIFE.  The guy didnt see him as he turned onto the street (left turn) where Reusker was crossing the road.  Reusker was struck in the leg, below the knee, by the bumper...thrown onto the hood of the car, then landed on the wet ground as the car stopped.  I am beyond upset (this is almost perfectly my greatest fear in life...that he will die before I kill him). 

He will be OK.  He told the guy he was fine, but he was in a lot of pain in the last 2 blocks it took him to walk him...he'll be limping the next few days.  He has a condition that make such injuries MUCH more dangerous for him than the average person, so we went to the ER.  We spent a few hours there (while the special Asian dinner I made for Reusker -egg rolls, fried rice, miso soup, Korean lettuce wraps, and spicy cuke salad- sat out on the dinner table until 9pm) but he was given the "you'll live" and sent home.  As soon as we got home, the police came to fill out an accident report (the driver turned himself in!)...so maybe he will cover our ER bills after all.

I am still shaking and very upset.  Reusker was wearing a dark coat on a dark, rainy night.  He needs to be more careful...Baby and I depend on him so much. 

Before this even happened, I was concerned walking Baby along that street...but its the major road in our development (hello, suburbia), and the only way out from our cul-de-sac.  Once the rebellious young chick who drove way too fast...I am now that old lady who shakes her fist at teenagers as they speed by.  I fantasize about banging my fist on their hood, and I yell "slow down, I have an infant here" to them...as if they care.

Today I was just writing how perfect my little life is.  EVERY SINGLE TIME I stop to appreciate how fortunate I am...this shit happens.  Remember when my Volvo was totalled by the 18-wheeler...same kind of day (almost exactly 14 months ago, before I even knew I was preggers)...I was thinking how good life was, only moments before:  BOOM!  Bang!  Swwwwrrrrrr....

And why did I want to live here rather than Miami?  Ok, its not as rude a place...but mostly because it is So.Much.Safer.  HA!  This week I read that Nashville has had the highest surge of criminal activity (violent crime?  I cant remember)  of any metropolitan area in the country.  Ha!  I was actually telling Reusker there seemed to be more violence in the news lately...I was right.

OK, so we dont live in Nashville formal.  But today, a reckless driver hit my husband...I'm not feeling quite as safe as I was this morning.  I almost lost one of the two more important people in my life.

I just wanna say

That being a Mommy makes me happier than ANYTHING I have ever done in my life.  Period.

Baby is starting to cling to me, and I know I need to get him more social interaction.  We go out every day.  I have lots of friends.  But Baby isnt getting enough attention from non-Mommys.  And as much as I enjoy the adoration, his dependence on ONLY me isnt good for either of us in the long run. Even though I *know* its a stage they all grow out of...I am taking it as a wake-up call.

We're new down here.  I have lots of friends (too many, really), but none of them use babysitters.  Everyone has either family nearby or their church.  I have neither...and I am far from my network.  I havent had any luck getting babysitter leads, and I hate the thought of cold-calling someone.  I mean who would leave a baby with an untested stranger?  I can call for references, but the references I really trust are my friends.

I think part of this stems from the fact that I just love being alone at home with Baby.  I am a normally VERY social person.  We thought I would be lonely down here, apart from my friends.  Nope.  I am just so thoroughly CONTENT these days.  Sure, there's drama (come on...its ME!).  But no word explains where I am better than "content".  I want for almost nothing, and that fact has quieted and slowed me down.  I am less interested in being social, and have become a home-body...and I dont even care, it feels good!  I'm in some kind of Zen place (although, living amoungst all of our unpacked boxes, you wouldnt guess to see our home!).

The ironic thing is that I have been the mom that was FINE leaving my baby with people.  They say most new moms are crazy about not letting anyone take their newborn.  Not me.  Reusker and I went out for our anniversary (dinner & a movie) when Baby was a mere 3 days old.  C'mon...My mom knew what she was doing!  If I found a babysitter I trusted, Baby would have had an evening with him/her once a week since birth.  I believe in that...and its good for him to know other people and its good for him when Reusker and I have time to strengthen our relationship (or even just SLEEP!).

So, now its time to make it happen.  Not only will Daddy and I get date nights, but Baby needs new people.  I dont know where I am going to find them...but I am on a mission.  I *do* leave him in the (wonderful) nursery at the gym, almost every day.  He loves it there, and they love him...and I get to see him between my activities (and I get Meg time!).  But, I think he needs more...

So, now its time to make it happen.  (am I convincing anyone?)

CRAP!

Trying to stay calm here...SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!

Reusker said his company's CEO has decided to consolidate operations in Florida.  They are BACK to saying they want EVERYONE in Florida (again)...rather than keeping this office in Tennessee, as planned.  We did this see-saw through my pregnancy, and it almost killed me.

The CEO mentioned this reversal to my hubby (chief technology officer, or something "important" like that) a few weeks ago.  Reusker said it was unpractical to move his entire department to Miami.  But the CEO wants it.  They were talking a 5-year plan (and working around an IPO)...so we werent worried.  We really only plan to be here 5 years anyways...let the company do what it wants after that.  But now they are saying EIGHTEEN MONTHS...

Sure, its not like we uprooted his pregnant wife to have their first child way.out.here...alone!  And dont worry that we just moved into the house we just bought.

Shit...this is a great job for Reusker and all.  And I have an MBA, I understand the big, corporate business side of all this (read: we arent even a grain of sand in the decision).  But this is our LIFE, too! 

Just when I think we are building a little stability.  The costs have been high for me, and the dust is just starting to settle a bit.  I love Reusker, and did this to support a golden opportunity for him.  But, I also made it CLEAR I would not live in Miami.  So technically they wouldnt move us to Miami formal, but I am putting my foot down.

we just got here.  I am NOT going to Florida.  Did I mention we just bought a house?  Kinda hard to pay the mortgage without a job.

Ok, breathing...praying this is just smoke and mirrors...but I dont think so.

well, we finally did it

After living here 6 months, and days after Baby turned 5 months, I finally dragged my "I dont believe in organized religion" husband to church.  Episcopal, no less (read: more standing, chanting, singing and ritual than I am used to).  And Baby did SO WELL.  We were positioned near the door, in case a fast getaway was necessary...but no need.  He squirmed for all of 30 seconds (enough to make me plan the exit), and then slept limp in my arms (which I LOVE!) for the entire second half.

Church was fortunately similar to what we knew back home (beyond denominational variations).  We were both PRAYING we didnt find ourselves amidst the "overly charismatic."  Its the reason you'll probably never see us in the prevailing Baptist churches around here...but everyone here is so religious, we thought even the more formal, dogmatic types (ie.Episcopal) might be heavy with Holy Rollers.  Again, no need to worry...he loved the people-watching and loud singing.

The only differences I noticed were an off-handed comment ("we arent simply snobby East-coasters" - ha ha ha!  I'll save my thoughts on that for another post) and the prayers for W.   I dont think we would have heard either of those in New England, but I could tolerate both.  People generally did not get in our faces, respected each others' space more than most other parts of life in Tennessee!

On the way home, we had to stop on a major roadway.  ThePeople'sChurch (real name) was getting out.  This campus is SO ENORMOUS that they need to use two town policeman to break up the traffic on a major route, so that their congregation can get out of church.  I find this remarkable on so many levels (the size of the church campus, the use of town resources, stopping traffic for them).  I also think our car was probably the ONLY one to find this odd!

I'm a cat person

AND a dog person, although I have not yet had the pleasure of cohabitating with one.  Even perhaps a fish person, as I've killed my fair share of them (most recently Bing!, R.I.P.)...

but sometimes SOME cats are evil, I know this...and it makes me laugh.

Only here

I counted no less than TEN guitars as we waited for our luggage in Nashville.  That's even more than the strollers (and no small number of them, as we sat with 4 other kids on the way home!).  I am thrilled that Baby is a brilliant flyer (read: sleeper), I think I might even be able to do it alone one day.  Right now, though, we recover from Florida.  Truly, Miami makes me think I could change my views on guns.  I think a case COULD be made for why someone would need a gun at home, to protect themselves there...parts are genuinely dangerous.  Surely our new state has the same, but I think we are very insulated from it (for better or worse).