I just realized that I misread someone's blog. You know who you are, and I have already apologized profusely (and very sincerely). I took a really nice, genuine post as sarcastic. And in my zeal to support her, I said something mean about someone else. Not to sound like Dr.Phil or anything, but I think part of it came from my own frustrations, when I was in the same position. I received some "gifts" that were unnecessary, unpleasant, and with too many expectations and strings attached. Then I was hounded with other people's expectations of how I would thank them, or display some ugly thing. This is a fairly universal experience I have heard from others in the same position, but it doesnt mean everyone has this experience. And I really should just learn to keep my trap shut (yes, I know...how many times do I have to learn this lesson? but you SHOULD know that the very people who would be first to "ha ha" are also the ones I have thought had some learnin' to do themselves).
So anyways...this was another great event in a shitty day (see earlier post). I really AM trying here. I am trying to be good, trying to be nice, trying to be calm and "let the universe talk to me." All this Charismatic Christianity around me has made me read more of my beloved Buddhism books of all different flavors. It so clearly defines places I can work...rather than hypocritically telling me Gawd wants me to do, as if any human really knows. Oops, so much for keeping my trap shut, huh?
Sorry Dr.Phil, today I am blaming my collective family for this...they've ruined my day again. I really feel they have let us down all over the place. Its mostly the people in Maine I am frustrated with...no, wait, I'd even say HURT. But tomorrow we drive all weekend for what -I am relatively sure- will be a series of discussions about how unhappy we have left everyone in Indiana. Forget the hours of driving a baby around to see them, the money we give them, taking them out, and all the things that we wont get done at home or even a chance to sleep...I just dread this weekend. I'm tired to trying to take care of everyone and getting hurt. I.WANT.OUT
So I'm in a bad place today...deal with it. I'm being a shit. Frankly being TheGoodGirl doesnt fare well, either. Screw off...I'm gonna be bitter all day. I'm just going to stay home and play with my favorite person on this whole earth (even if he DID shit on the white carpet this morning...grossest thing I've ever seen).
We have a basemwnt that is quite comfortable and cheaper than 500$ a week.
Posted by: Chuck | July 31, 2006 at 12:36 AM
YOu can be bitter if you want to. YOu've earned it I think. Your inlaws take the proverbial cake. You're a saint to be as nice as you have been to them.
Posted by: Lizzy B | July 31, 2006 at 12:14 PM
I just read this and REMEMBER PLEASE that it's okay! No worries! If you want I'll take the comment down!
Posted by: Louise | July 31, 2006 at 05:57 PM